A Mom in the Balance, AKA Every Mom Ever
Having three kids is hard. Like...really hard.
Having one is so different, and to go from having one to two with an eight year gap was already an adjustment; but then, to have three within a year of the two was insane. You have complete dependency staring you in the face every single day, and the differences between the older child and the younger children are glaring.
A little back story to all of this: When I was growing up, I was in a household with three kids. It made it to where I have only ever wanted two kids my entire life. So you can imagine that, when I found out four months postpartum after my second child that we were pregnant, it was a shock. I was frozen because one, I was on birth control at the time, and two, I wasn't sure I was ready. I became a stay at home mom after this, which means I do the same thing day in and day out. I often feel like it’s a miracle when we get through a day. Someone is always yelling or crying, and the bickering and the chores never -- ever--stop. Laundry always needs to be done, dishes need washing, dogs need something, toys are ALWAYS everywhere no matter how many toy boxes I get; and that list goes on forever.
Autopilot works most days, which is great, because I often have no energy from the lack of sleep. Oh man...the lack of sleep is real with a two-year-old and a one-year-old. One of them is always up, and just when they start to sleep all night, the other starts waking up. It’s mad I tell you...MAD. It’s like you're being punked by your own kids sometimes.
My point is this: as the "mom" we take care of everyone/everything first, and that often can lead to us forgetting ourselves. We try to put ourselves first, but it’s often such a hard thing for to do. When I had kids I knew there was no more "just me" time; I suddenly had to take care of these humans who relied on me for everything. How they grow up fell into my hands. That is a lot of pressure.
We do the best we can, and many times, we’ll feel like that isn’t enough. Trust me, I get it -- with three, I often feel like I am failing miserably. All in all, though, at the end of the day my girls still love me, and I still love them. I have a bond with my children that I will never be able to explain to anyone; they won’t even understand until they become parents themselves. Kids take you to your furthest low points, and they send you soaring to your highest, happiest moments. It's a balancing act for sure, but we are all working together and making it through. We teach each other something new on a daily basis.
Without our kids, we wouldn't be who we are today. I think about this often, and I have to say… as hard as it is, I am so grateful for every bit of it. So for all you moms out there who have a really hard time, I am here to tell you to keep pushing through. There is a light at the end of that tunnel, many times a day.
Karyn is a mother of 3 who lives in central Oregon. She loves working with Damsel in Defense and spreading the mission of safety for men women and children. It’s her passion in life to empower, equip and educate as many as she can.