Why We Need to Stop Pushing Away, and Start Receiving

It’s ridiculously hard to receive.

You don’t agree?

Okay, then you can stop reading right now.

Unless, maybe you happen to have a friend who has a hard time with things like compliments, letting a friend buy them coffee, or accepting a gift.

Know someone?

Yeah, that’s what I thought.

When you are a giver, which I’m guessing you are, then receiving isn’t something you’re used to. In fact, you’re straight up terrified of the I'm-not-sure-why-I-feel-awkward feeling that comes up when someone…. hands you…. a…. *gasp*.... gift.

You don’t know how to respond or what to do. *Insert awkward smile and deflecting here.*

After a “receiving incident,”  you  then proceed to judge every aspect of why that person gave you the compliment or did something nice for you in the first place.

Even with people you love, you wonder: “He said he loves me, but does he REALLY?”

Kind of like those pre-teen years when your parents said, “I love you,” and you responded, “Well, you have to love me, you’re my mom.”

It’s an insane cycle that stifles your ability to experience joy and potentially robs the giver of their joy as well.

When you deflect or reject a gift, you create a rift in loving energy between you and another. All because of your fear of a potential negative feeling that might show up later or be drawn up from your past.  

Notice that neither of those are actually about the NOW.

What would it look like to receive, if you didn’t invite your past into the moment and closed the window to the future that hasn’t even happened yet?

What if you received with an open heart as if that moment was the only moment?

Now, I’d like you to flip this on it’s head.

Let’s say, YOU are the giver. Oh, yes, I know, that feels soooo much better, doesn’t it?

And you want to buy someone coffee. That someone says “No” and refuses to let you pay. Do you wonder why?


“Why won’t they let me treat them to a $3 cup of coffee?”


Might they be judging you?

Might they assume there are strings attached and you really are just trying to buy their friendship or manipulate the situation?

Might they invite a past fear of a scolding from their parents because, “It’s better to give than receive?”

Does that sound completely ridiculous to you?

Oh, it does!?

Well, well….

You aren’t that type of person, are you?

Of course not.

Yet, you project all your emotional baggage onto someone just trying to LOVE you.


So, let’s try this again.


What goes through your mind when someone pays you a compliment or offers to bring you dinner?

Are your thoughts different this time?

I hope so.

Love yourself. Open yourself to receive. Open yourself to love.



Selena is a public speaker and motivational coach living in Oregon. She hopes you're taking a little time to take care of yourself today, and wants to help you do it with the Love YOU More Project. To find out more about it and her awesome life philosophies, go here.